The “Nope” star also shares how pornography negatively influenced her initial understanding of what sex should be.
The “Nope” star broke it down for her fans on the latest installment of her “Baby, This is Keke Palmer” podcast, revealing that one comment made by Whoopi Goldberg transformed her relationship with her own sensuality.
may have thought she was just going on a talk show, but instead one appearance on “The View”
changed everything for her.
“I’ll never forget, I was on ‘The View’ one time, and they were having a conversation about sex, a really great conversation, and Whoopi Goldberg said, ‘Please just start with pleasing yourself,'” Palmer recalled. “And I was like, ‘That rings true.'”
It also rang differently from her understanding of sex to that point. She shared that she had always thought it was more about making sure the other person experienced pleasure, and not really focusing on herself at all.
“My identity with sex, it was always based upon, ‘Oh, I just got to do this service,'” Palmer explained, saying that her own enjoyment came from her partner’s enjoyment.
“That was, like, depressing and not enough because, well, I realized, like, ‘Well, wait a damn minute– This isn’t you!'” said Palmer. “So, it was a journey of trying to figure out what works for me.”
She also shared that her relationship with sex and early understanding of what it was and how it was supposed to work was largely influenced by “porn simulation sex,” as she described it.
She said she came to believe that was how it was supposed to happen, but admitted, “I never actually had a happy ending from it, if I’m being, you know, lightly frank.” Instead, she’s found more personal satisfaction from an experience “more demure, more calmer,” and “more emotional.”
One thing that surprised her when taking Goldberg’s advice and starting to explore her own satisfaction and pleasure was that what she wanted in private was something completely different than what she presented in public.
“In my daily life, I’m very performative,” she explained “I’m giving you everything I’ve got and I’m going in and what I did learn and realize as I matured was like, that’s absolutely not the kind of sex that I want to have.”
The former Nickelodeon star also recently opened up about feeling “trapped” during her time starring as “True Jackson, VP.” In part because she was constantly associated with this fictional character, she made the decision to curate that aforementioned “performative” persona she’s become known for.
“I’m a quirky artist, but I’m an artist, and it’s important for people to understand that Keke is just a part of who I am,” she told The Hollywood Reporter last week. “It’s been a winding road of trying to figure out how to do what I love but also exist outside of this caricature.”
Trying to clarify the distinction between Lauren (her real name) and Keke, Palmer told THR that what it means is she’s “not like that all the time,” referring to Keke’s more outlandish personality traits.
“I’ve taken those flamboyant and interesting aspects of myself and learned how to use them in a space that has become a career for me,” she explained. “I’m Walt Disney. That’s Mickey Mouse.”
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