Your Sex Goals for the New Year

Sex Goals for The New Year

 

We asked you what your sexual and wellness goals were for 2022 on our Instagram @WildFlowerSex and you did not disappoint! Check out the amazing list below for some inspiration on what you might want to explore in the new year. 

 

Improve Communication

Lots of you wanted to improve sexual communication of some kind 

  • Learning to be better at asking for what I want in the bedroom (or living room, or bathroom, or office…)
  • Get more comfortable talking about sex and actually bring it up in therapy!
  • Be more vocal with my partner, and not shame myself for enjoying myself.
  • Learning to share and ask for what I enjoy in the bedroom. Get better at at talking about sex
  • Being present in the bedroom
  • Saying what’s on my mind without being scared of the reaction of my partner
  • Not feel “annoying” or guilty for asking for/ engaging in personal fantasies + kinks
  • Continue to work on discussing sex, kink, and pleasure with my wife without embarrassment.
  • To verbalize more, journal a LOT so I am able to ask for the things that I want most in bed
  • Ask for things I like in bed and have more consistently good sex
  • I want to use my voice instead of letting my partners call the shots!
  • Communicate my needs better with my partners.
  • Be more comfortable asking what I w ant, discussing sex life and less guilt in the bedroom
  • If after telling them what I need, they agree and still don’t follow through, not being afraid to re-ask
  • To come from being pleasured by another! Can’t seems to relax enough or communicate
  • I want to be able to say no and don’t feel guilty
  • Understanding my relationship with sex and my partner better (communication & boundaries) 
  • Be less scared to ask for what I want / initiate sex 
  • Growth of the beautiful communicate my partner and I have developed
  • I love giving oral but don’t love receiving because it takes a while to O and it’s hard for me to communicate where and what feels good. I want to work on that because my partner loves giving oral so I know this is a great area for growth for us
  • To be able to ask for what I want from partners without hesitating and overthinking!

 

Relationship with Self

Many spoke of enhancing the relationship with you have with yourself

  • Love my body at every stage
  • Deepen my sexual relationship with myself. Waaaaay more masturbation 
  • Get out of my head
  • To no feel shameful for what I desire
  • Enjoying the sensations and connection I have rather than the shame about how I look
  • Learn to love my labia
  • Knowing my worth / why someone likes me isn’t just bc of sex
  • Rediscover my sexuality, Rediscover feeling sexy on my own, without external validation
  • Prioritizing pleasure – and fostering a relationship between my mind and body
  • Feel comfortable in my fat body & let myself enjoy sex again
  • to get more connected with my body, explore different sensations and try to have different orgasms
  • Discover what makes me feel my sexiest
  • Learning how to love who I am and enjoy my own company
  • More patience during masturbation instead of going straight to orgasm, mindfulness
  • I want to not compare myself to others and their sexual experiences 
  • If & when I find someone to be sexual with again, I’m making my pleasure a priority without shame
  • Feeling more comfortable and confident to try new sexual experiences
  • To love my body regardless of how it feels or looks
  • Get more in tune with my body and find myself sexy again
  • Better my relationship with masturbation and easing out of anxiety to get back into sex
  • To take better care of / have a better relationship with my body
  • I just tested positive for HPV n I feel like its the end of the word. I wish I can be strong n love myself again
  • I just want to pleasure myself more instead of relying on a partner – they have a lower libido 
  • Reconnect with my body and sexuality and decrease shame 
  • To be at peace with my body & belong entirely to myself so I can get out of my head and enjoy sex!
  • Feel more comfortable w my body

 

Relationship with Others

Some fo you wanted to improving your relationship with others

  • Initiating sex with my long-time partner more often so he feels hot
  • Initiate more/feel less insecure
  • Have a gentle lover to explore sexuality together
  • Be firmer when my boundaries are disrespected
  • Practice greater independence in my relationship
  • Find a condom that is comfortable for both of us 
  • I want to have more (safe) sexual partners
  • (T4t) continue exploring sexual desires & experiences as the develop with our bodies on hrt
  • Learn to access submissive headspace with my partner
  • Start giving sex again w my partner or open for another. Can’t stand another year w/o
  • Keep exploring and having fun with my partner
  • Have more pleasurable sex with my partner (and more often)
  • Better communication w bf about timing and frequency of sex & balancing factors with timing – sleepiness, if staying up too late, CBD, alcohol 
  • Enjoy sex comfortably by setting boundaries
  • Continue to heal partners and relationship after rough patch this summer..sex life is next part to heal
  • Setting sex days to ease the pressure of having to be ready at a moments notice.
  • Get my roommate to realize he’s not getting between my bf and i, bc we both want him in fact 
  • learn how to have more tantric experiences and energetic orgasms w/ my partner 
  • Working on more creative ways of being intimate with a partner who has ED.
  • Get over performance anxiety and being able to enjoy sex
  • To try something new, Also have sex with my husband… been two years. Makes me sad
  • For my partner and I to be more open to exploring new sexual things to do together
  • Slowly build with a partner who’s mentally ill. Cherish, nurture, & embrace the process
  • I want to strengthen the bond with my boyfriend so we can open our relationship in a healthy way
  • To not feel guilty when I can’t / am not up to sex, due to mood / physical disability
  • To get married & have wild sex daily lots of times
  • I want to help my wife feel more comfortable in her post party body. No longer feels at home in herself
  • If I find the right person to do it with, have sex for the first time
  • I wand to incorporate toys in the bedroom with my girlfriend! Especially wearables!
  • We are doing Gottman Method: building love maps and growing in our relationship
  • Continue learning how to enjoy and navigate an open relationship with my partner
  • Let go of the guilt of a past relationship and find partners to play and experiment with
  • To explore each other more! Make sex new and fun again 
  • To get to the place we need to be in order to eventually open up. Feeling reconnected to the drive and desire we had when things were different 
  • Practice safe sex and practice setting boundaries
  • Focus more on intimacy / connection vs penetrative sex as the mainstay
  • My goal is to get back together with my ex and treat her better + communicate more w/ her
  • Keep my three girlfriends and get them all in the same room eventually
  • Be more selective with partners
  • Give my bi bf the same trust/respect understanding | (pan) expect.
  • Work on better navigating dating and Hsv2 (a recent discovery to me)
  • Feel less bad for feeling like I’m not living up to my partner’s expectations sexually
  • To seek out more partner pleasure, (safe) sex, and maybe find some love too.
  • working on knowing that it’s not always of of me when my partners don’t wanna have sex
  • Finally have sex with another person again… last time was 2019
  • I just want to find a partner and have good sex after almost three years of nothing / nada / zero

 

Trying New Things

Many of you spoke about exploring your sexualities by trying something new or navigating new experiences

  • 2022: MMF threesome, peg a cis het man, sex with someone I love
  • A Dom Daddy, 3sum and hooking up with my sexting partner in Boston
  • Experiment with pegging and sex with guys
  • One full year without penetration! Sex is so much more (heart eyes emoji) I’m ready to explore
  • I’m recently coming to terms with being bi; I want to explore myself and swinging too
  • I want to learn how to squirt
  • Unlocking my Dom energy and seeping my kink skill set (ropes, toys, power play)
  • Reconnect with sexual energy on a spiritual level. Dive back into tantric studies and practices
  • To have fun after my recent break – up of 2.5 yr relationships
  • Find a dom
  • Try tantra
  • Hours-long make out session.
  • More group sex! I find that with more than one partner, I don’t get triggered by. Oh yeah and more t4t
  • 1. Give & receive partnered anal play 2. Less porn
  • Be more adventurous with myself and meet new people to have fun with
  • Having sex without drinking
  • I really want to be able to relax for an orgasm in a new position. I always lay on my stomach and flex my legs.
  • I’d like to be on a group date with some hot people
  • Less porn / toy based masturbation & exploring more wats to give myself pleasure
  • Attend kink events & make new friends so I can set better boundaries in what I choose to discuss with other friends who have more access to other parts of my life
  • All femme threesome!
  • I want to date outside my primary relationship (consensually!)
  • To learn more about tantra
  • Navigate pregnancy changes w/ my body sex as gracefully + lovingly as possible
  • Continue to explore different activities w/my SO such as 3-somes, swinging, etc
  • Explore non-monogamy
  • Learn some Shibari: starting dating again after a long break
  • Learning to navigate pregnancy, sex, intimacy, and (later) a newborn with my husband
  • Have threesomes with my bf
  • I’ve never masturbated with someone watching me. I’m insanely self-conscious about how my face kilos when I cum and I want to get past this
  • Exploring ideas of pregnancy and maybe having a baby
  • gotta finally learn to give oral. I really wanna be good at it but the taste puts me off..

 

Healing

There was lots of talk about healing, psychically and mentally

  • Learn to grow comfortable with my overly thick hymen. Make more obgyn appts.
  • get comfortable with kink again after trauma
  • heal my hpv and get a clear pap 
  • Letting go of the shame that keeps me from fully enjoying my sexuality
  • Avoid BV
  • To heal and learn to accept my new desire to be a sub
  • I’m going to take better care of my oral health for preventative care
  • Heal my broken ankle and then get railed asap
  • Try to continue to have intimacy during my partners chemotherapy treatments 
  • heal from sexual trauma and learn to not get uncomfortable when my partner asks me for something
  • I want to research the feeling of shame to dismantle it when it comes to sex
  • Heal from past sexual traumas with my new partner
  • To release any lingering shame about having herpes
  • Continue healing abandonment wounds
  • To be more present, to heal from past trauma, to not rush myself and enjoy the moment
  • I’m seeing a pelvic floor PT and I’m going to go kegels correctly everyday
  • Tackle reoccurring bv with my doctor
  • Reconnect with partnered sex again after avoiding it following last break up / heart break 
  • Get my implants out so I can feel better & hopefully that helps nerve damage …so i can enjoy nipple play again. I currently can’t feel anything!
  • More pleasure, less tension! Releasing fears, setting space for exploration  
  • Finally getting rid of vaginismus after years of not being able to have sex
  • To release my trauma around sexual assault and find someone to orgasm with

 

Keep It Simple

And some people keep it simple

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