Dominic Cummings: Winning political campaigns have ‘hot women and beer and pizza and music’

Ever wondered what it’s like to be at the heart of a relentless, crushing, winning political machine? Wonder no longer.

Dominic Cummings, once Boris Johnson’s top aide and now thorn in the side of pretty much everyone in British politics, used his subscription newsletter to say that “winning political campaigns” have “hot women and beer and pizza and music in the office on Friday and Saturday night because the place is bursting with energy” (italics author’s own). Cummings’ comments were also picked up for non-Substack subscribers by a Telegraph journalist.

What else do such campaigns get up to? Well, “they enjoy kicking their opponents down the street at 10pm on a Saturday night when the other side are in ‘work-life balance’ mode.”

Cummings also gave advice to the opposition Labour Party on how to defeat the Conservatives and get back into power. His plan would be to ditch Keir Starmer — a “dead player” — and replace him as party leader with “a Midlands woman,” move party HQ from London to the Midlands, and focus on the economy and crime (that’s fighting crime, not causing it).

He added that Labour should be driving Prime Minister Boris Johnson and his wife Carrie “crazy with rage and panic every Saturday night” as they wait for the Sunday newspapers to be published, “thus creating a wave of horrific phone calls across Tory-world and constantly ruining everyone’s weekends.”

Cummings says the Vote Leave campaign for Brexit that he led was just this kind of political machine. “We had the whole government machine against us but some core staff were truly demented in their focus and drive,” he wrote.

How demented? “So demented that friends would say to me things like ‘I’m worried X will have a heart attack and die he’s basically living in the office and has turned grey.’ Losers don’t answer the phone on Saturday afternoon and whine about ‘work-life balance.’”

Vote Leave was, Cummings said, “like Animal House” — a reference to the late-1970s John Belushi comedy about a raucous, trouble-making college fraternity.

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