Why Can I Only Orgasm from Sex Toys?
Having different sensational preferences and needs are what makes us sexually unique – no two people are going to reach orgasm in the exact same ways. Sex toys can help met our stimulatory needs when fingers and hands aren’t quite enough to get you there. Many vagina owners may ask “Why can’t I orgasm during sex?”. The thing is, most people with vaginas require some form of external clitoral stimulation to climax – PIV (penis in vagina) penetration isn’t a reliable way for people without penises to orgasm. People who have limited or inhabited sensation due to conditions or medications (like SSRIs) may find that they’re experiencing loss of sensation or arousal response. This is where sex toys and vibrators can assist with that added sensation to help reach climax and help with folks who wonder “why can’t I orgasm during sex?”
There can be debates on if orgasming using a toy is “natural” or not, however most of these ideas are linked to sex negative ideas about sexual pleasure and vibrators. We don’t ask if wearing shoes is natural for our feet, or if using a knife and fork is a “natural” way to eat! It’s not unusual to use or need a sex toy to reach orgasm – many people use sex toy and shouldn’t feel shameful for it. Additionally, if your partner uses or needs a sex toy to reach climax, this again, isn’t something to be worried about. Sex toys don’t replace partners and can in fact bring more satisfaction to partnered sex, as demonstrated in many studies.
The Beauty of the Sex Toy Orgasm
While orgasms don’t have to be the only goal of self and shared pleasure, many people seek the sensations of climax during their sexual play. And why wouldn’t they? Orgasms can feel amazing and have been linked to all kinds of physiological and psychological health benefits. For some people, sex toys can mean accessibility to this type of pleasure. Most of us aren’t taught how our bodies work and how to explore pleasure. For many folks, mostly vagina owners, vibrators and stimulating toys make reaching climax accessible in ways that previously weren’t. A toy orgasm isn’t doing anything different to your body than a regular orgasm – the processes is still the same. Vibrators allow folks to explore pleasure in an easier way – many people report that their orgasms from sex toys are “more reliable”, “quicker”, and “stronger”.
Incorporating Sex Toys into Sex
Introducing sex toys can do wonders for the quality of your sex life but sometimes it isn’t as easy as buying a toy and putting it on your body to find immediate success. Many of us carry shame with the idea of using a sex toy and create stories about what that says about us. Some of us consider that the use of sex toys suggests that our bodies are broken, our partnered sex is flawed, or that we are lacking in some way. Instead of looking at sex toys as compliments, like shoes to feet or silverware to a meal, we instead cling to these harmful narratives that almost always enhance our feelings of sexual shame. It’s simple — if you associate an object with shame, you will experience shame when you interact with it.
Furthermore, if you’re exploring new things, your toy may not work for you perfectly the first try. It may take a few attempts before you find the right positions, maneuvers, lubes, or settings that are ideal for you.
That’s why creating positive relationships and associations with your sex toys is important. If you’re wanting to introduce sex toys into partnered sex, make it a fun activity to shop together for something you both feel comfortable and excited about. Be proud of your toys! Be mindful about how you handle and treat them. Consider displaying your toys in your bedroom instead of hiding them at the bottom of a drawer. Take pride in washing and caring for them. Use them with confidence and compassion, knowing that they are supporting your sexual pleasure, not dominating it in any way.
Find Your Best Sex Toy
Now that you know that orgasming only from sex toys is normal and not unusual, check out our customer’s favorite vibrators and find your best sex toy for an orgasm.
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